If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
