I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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