I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
