The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
