We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
