i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
