): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
