he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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