Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize
