Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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