Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
