This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
