Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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