I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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