thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
