do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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