cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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