Your tits are I can't wait for
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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