Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
