i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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