Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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