She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
