Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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