Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
