Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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