yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
