Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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