Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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