She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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