i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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