he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
