It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize