Pregnant stripper...not hot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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