If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
