My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
