Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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