If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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