I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
