There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.