oh god the rape fog is back!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.