I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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