He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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