Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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