just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
