Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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