Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He shit in the fireplace
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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