Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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