I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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