and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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