Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
