What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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