flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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