so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
