I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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