grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
