I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
