69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Text me some of your sweat
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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