Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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