The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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