Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
