did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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