Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
