omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize