1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
