your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My dick has a subreddit
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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